Journey starts here!

Yay. The day has finally arrived! I'm flying today. :D

I have been waiting for this day for a few months already. HAHA.

Padahnya beli tiket awal-awal. InsyaAllah, semuanya akan baik-baik aja.

Hopefully the haze won't be a problem. And I pray that after I leave, the haze would also lessen (?) I'm not sure what word to use for that. -,-

Anywhores, pray for my safe journey. 

XOXO

The positive thing.

I'm not gonna waste another second envying other people's happiness and start creating my own happiness. I don't get a shit from cursing my own life just while some other bitch is living her time of her life. Let's get that positive attitude in the air people!

My mister lame-o

I just love the way you make me laugh.

I'm gonna miss all of your lame jokes.

:)

Take care, hunny buns. 

Appreciate the present, then you'll get over the past. 

Everything.

There's so much hatred in me. I even hate myself. Sometimes, I hate myself too much. But it's really hard seeing myself from my point of view. I can't see anything, really. I keep on seeing the things in front of me rather than what's in me. I know, there are so many things that I should be thankful of, but it's just so hard to see sometimes. I don't feel like I have anything to be proud of. I'm always so moderate. Never too good, never too bad, which is actually not bad, but not good either. I just wanna be good. Then again, we're always never gonna be satisfied of what we have. *sigh* I should be more thankful with the things I have rather than pondering on the things I don't have. Be more thankful, Meia. You can't have everything. 

My holidays

Alhamdulillah. I'm having such a great time at home even though the results have started coming out. Well, thanks to UTM, our results are out right after we finished the paper. -,- Sometimes it's a curse. HAHA. Anywhores, as I said, I've been having a great time here at home. :) I've been baking, reading, sewing, sleeping well, and spending time with my family. I simply love how it is. Well, I try making the best out of the time I have before departing.

I successfully baked Cinnamon Rolls. :D Although, I have to remind myself next time to make them smaller. HAHA. It was slightly bigger than I expected, but Alhamdulillah, it finished. :) That's one taken off my to-do-baking-list. There are still a lot of recipes I wanna try. Slowly, I'll bake all of them. ^^

I read two novels already. Both are Nicholas Sparks' novels: Safe Haven and The Lucky One. Reading his novels, I realized one thing about his writings. His writings must have something to do with army. HAHA. But his writings are so nice to read; simple yet detailed. I don't know why people like to read his novels, but I know why I do and why I can't put down his novels. The storyline is one thing, but that alone wasn't enough. It was the way he write his stories. Because it was simple, you can create this scene in your head, as clearly as if it was something real, something you've seen. And so whenever I put down the book, I'd still have the image of the characters in my head and the stories go on and on and on. It's impossible to put the book down because then my head won't stop thinking what's gonna happen next? -,- Both of his novels made me feel that way. sheesh. But I guess that means he is a good writer too. His books are okay. :) Good books to indulge and spend time on.

I sewed a bit. I made a pillow for Awang. It wasn't much. I made a patchwork for the cover and made the pillow as well. I thought, oh, ada kekabu, so why not make the whole thing. So, yeah. I made him a red pinkish pillow. xD HAHA. I do regret choosing that colour tho. But yeah. It's done. Anyway, I'm working on a tote bag and my mom's table runner right now. The tote bag is also a patchwork. I hope I can get it ready soon. It's for a friend. :) And the table runner should be done before I fly.

Basically that's how my holidays have been. :) I'm happy. And now praying for the best for my resut. Pray with me! :)

No more worries. :D

I won't worry any more. 

:) 

I know now, that despite the distance we have between us, figuratively and literally, I am always a part of you. Whether or not a big part, or a small part, I know that I mean something to you. And once upon a time, I meant so much to you. So, I guess we can finally have things as it is. You will always be someone special to me, and I will always be someone special to you. We may not have been spending much time together, but we know it in our hearts that we are very close. And you know what, if anything do happen to us, I know that I once was very important to you. :) I spose that's enough for me.

I have grown up. :')

lulz.

Yes, please.

Make things right.

Say the things unsaid.

Cut my hair short

I think it's funny how people are scared to cut their hair short, for girls I mean. Hair can grow back, what's the matter with cutting it short? Haha. Well, I spose some people may have some kind of sentimental value with their long hair. I won't lie and say that I've never felt afraid of cutting my hair short. I do. But isn't it weird? Why should we be afraid? What is so afraid of cutting it? It'll grow back. It'll definitely grow back. If it doesn't then maybe you're either dead or... I don't know. I've never thought of hair not growing back. -,- 

I think cutting your hair can be a nice starting point. You know, it's kind of like cutting off your past. Style up the new hair and live life fresh. Short means fresh, right? If I could colour my hair, I'd definitely go for light or dark purple. Noice. And maybe red once or twice. :D No matter how small it seems, but cutting your hair can mean a lot actually.

random

I like the idea of travelling.  Travelling in the sense of mind; opening your heart for new things, accepting new ideas. Sometimes opening a book can make you travel the whole universe. Sometimes taking a walk in the park can make you realise how much there is offered right in front of you. I don't want to die knowing that I knew so little of the things around me, knowing that I missed so much while living. I want to read lots and lots of books, writings. I want to feel other people's experience through their writing. I don't care if it's fictional or non-fiction. Every story written is another person's journey in their mind, and I want to go through the same journey they've been through. I don't want to be left not knowing all the feelings they felt just because I've never been through them. People exaggerate in writings. Yes, they do. That is the point. There are times in life where we exaggerate things to make it seem more surreal because the emotions can't be described with just simple explanation.

I want to walk on lands where people have walked on. I want to see the things they've seen, hold the things they've held, breath the air they've breathed. I want their passion. I want to see things from their point of view. How complicated their mind was, how abstract things were around them. I want to feel their presence. Yes, not everything is always so pretty or happy, but there was once a time when it was pretty and there were happiness from laughters and joy of the people who were there before me. And I want to be there. To find out how it was going through all the struggle, going through all the enchantment they went through. 

I don't want to die knowing that I have gone through so little. There are so much more to be discovered. I want to know a lot. I want to feel a lot. I want to get my head off things that are not even there and fill it with things that are at present or that were once real. I want to travel.

Sometimes, all you need is a break. A long one.

Maybe one day we'll come across each other again, and maybe then, we'll make it thru. 

Diverging does not always mean separating.

It's just different path we both choose to take.

Maybe some day in the future, we'll be on the same one again. 

10:30

It's only ten thirty, yet I'm already done with Linguistics. This is not good news. It's not that I give up or something. I just don't know what else to read. I can't digest anything any more. I'm just praying for the best for tomorrow's paper. Hopefully my effort is enough. Tomorrow gotta wake up early and do some brain refreshment. At times like this I wish I have an eidetic memory like Sheldon. Hmm, life would be good. 

Coincidence or just subconscious reflex?

Rain.

Rain.

Rain.

:)

Desperation

My oh my. I'm so tired with the finals. Come on! Other people have like, 4-5 papers. I have 8 papers! And this semester just sucks. Everything is just everywhere. Even the lecturers haven't given us our carry marks. I'm so stressed right now. I don't want to fail myself this semester. I have to get good grades. I have to be good in my studies. This is the only thing I know I'm good at, but it's so hard this semester. I just wanna be good. I can't give up just yet. Not yet. Oh, god. Pray for me people. For strength to be better. 

I try not think about it

You know, having someone forgetting you sure is painful. But having someone ignoring you while you're right in front of him is just heart-breaking. Crushes my heart to pieces to see all that we've been thru just, means nothing right now. 

Well, we all have choices. And this was ours. 

kilograms of fat

I went to gym today after a week of hibernating. 

OMG!

-,-

I couldn't catch my breath. Just a week I didn't go jogging, swimming or cycling, and I was like having an asthma attack. *deep breaths* I'm so frustrated. I tried losing weight since last month, but I only lost a kilo. -,- It makes me feel so sad. I'm so fat. :(

I currently weigh 53.4 kg. My BMI is 21. I am aiming for 48 kg with a BMI of 19. I know, it is still a looong way to go. Haih. But I'm gonna do it the right way - watch my diet and try burning the fats. I should be consuming less than my daily calorie consumption, that is 1280 cal. But, sadly, I either consume more than that, or just a little less than that, 100 cal less. -,- I can't stop eating. Food are so good. :( I guess that's why I just need to push myself a little bit more on burning the extra calories to maintain my current weight and lose a little bit. 

But I spose it's okay. It's not that I don't like how I am right now, I just feel like I can lose more. So much more. I'm targeting to weigh 50 kg after Ramadan. And gain one or two kilos back in Raya. -,- HAHA! I gots to face the truth! So, yeah. If I can't lose more than that, I'll just have accept the fat I have. *sigh*

Friendship

:)

I know that we both are heck so busy.

I haven't heard your voice, since like for eveeerrr~

HAHA.

Maybe it's been a week or so.

But I know that you're always there. Always.

I hope to see you soon, OH.

:)

Fishy bastard

You.

A victim?

The truth is just that you're just a selfish bastard, who, I must say, cannot admit that you're wrong.

You can't have everything.

You have to realize that.