I hate how every time I get in front of the computer, my thoughts all just fly away. Like it's too shy to be here. Too afraid to be share whats in it.
I hate it!
Whenever I'm driving or eating or even in the toilet, ideas are like fireworks - BOOM BOOM BOOM!
I hate it!
Whenever I'm driving or eating or even in the toilet, ideas are like fireworks - BOOM BOOM BOOM!
*sigh*
My heart has been aching for so long.
I don't know what's hurting it so much; I don't know if it's other people or just myself.
And lately I've been getting less and less sleep, which is really bothering and getting on my nerves. I hate sleeping late. I like to sleep early, knowing that I have plenty of time for rest. I need rest. I need to rest my brain, my heart. It's just been working more than ever. I've been getting mild headaches the past few weeks and I swear, I'd bang my head real hard if I didn't wish to live any longer, which is actually what I wish for, but sane enough not to do.
I try to not think about things, but it just gets worse after some time and I have to face with it with double the tense.
My problem is, when people ask me what can they do to make things better, I just don't know what. I seriously don't know. I get mad over simple things and people just don't get why. Even I don't know why, for God's sake. I hate myself so much, I wish I had a reset button so I can just get over myself every time I have failed myself. Gosh.
Failing sucks. It's frustrating. I know people say, if you fail, you get up stronger than you were before. But before you can even get up, you've got to go through all the shitty 'I wish I was better than this' speech.
Huargh!
I don't know what's hurting it so much; I don't know if it's other people or just myself.
And lately I've been getting less and less sleep, which is really bothering and getting on my nerves. I hate sleeping late. I like to sleep early, knowing that I have plenty of time for rest. I need rest. I need to rest my brain, my heart. It's just been working more than ever. I've been getting mild headaches the past few weeks and I swear, I'd bang my head real hard if I didn't wish to live any longer, which is actually what I wish for, but sane enough not to do.
I try to not think about things, but it just gets worse after some time and I have to face with it with double the tense.
My problem is, when people ask me what can they do to make things better, I just don't know what. I seriously don't know. I get mad over simple things and people just don't get why. Even I don't know why, for God's sake. I hate myself so much, I wish I had a reset button so I can just get over myself every time I have failed myself. Gosh.
Failing sucks. It's frustrating. I know people say, if you fail, you get up stronger than you were before. But before you can even get up, you've got to go through all the shitty 'I wish I was better than this' speech.
Huargh!
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