negativity

It's such a burden trying to convince yourself to think the other way. I can't train my brain anymore to be thinking positive of things. I'm just so worn out with trying and thinking good things about life. There are bad things out there, why should I keep lying to myself and keep saying that things are gonna be alright? So what if things aren't gonna settle? There will be things that are just gonna stay hung by a thread. I can't expect to see the light at the end of all the tunnels. There will be tunnels that has no ends. It's covered by rocks caused by earthquake or something. Or that the end just happened to be closed because of construction. Maybe one day it'll make it's way out. Maybe I'll figure a way out. But I'm just gonna let that day come by later. Now, I'm not gonna burden myself by thinking that I can do it. I have to face the fact that I can't and it's not wrong. Maybe I'm just meant to do something  else. Maybe there are people in life that we have to leave to make peace to ourselves. Maybe there are people who we need so much, but can't be there and it's okay if you don't like it. You can't suppose to like things you know you hate. You don't have to learn to like it if you don't want to. So the person's too busy to company you, and you hate it. Just hate it. Why not? You have your own rights too. There are things you can tolerate with and you are okay with it, yet there are things that you just don't have to tolerate with. It's a waste of time and energy. If you now you can't do it, you don't have to. Maybe later you're ready, then you'll try again. There's so many things out there to explore, to do, and you can't waste it on something just because you feel like have to be positive of it.