Body and holidays

I try to ignore the fact that I'm gaining some weight living here in Australia. I'm on a holiday and people just eat on holidays. I don't wanna miss out anything just because I'm afraid of gaining some weight. Yeah, and how's that working out for me? pfft~ I freak out most of the time when I see food. And when I get on the scale, I just went on sobbing. Gosh. What is wrong with me? I should be okay. I should feel confident as how I am, but I'm just not. I hate myself.