kilograms of fat

I went to gym today after a week of hibernating. 

OMG!

-,-

I couldn't catch my breath. Just a week I didn't go jogging, swimming or cycling, and I was like having an asthma attack. *deep breaths* I'm so frustrated. I tried losing weight since last month, but I only lost a kilo. -,- It makes me feel so sad. I'm so fat. :(

I currently weigh 53.4 kg. My BMI is 21. I am aiming for 48 kg with a BMI of 19. I know, it is still a looong way to go. Haih. But I'm gonna do it the right way - watch my diet and try burning the fats. I should be consuming less than my daily calorie consumption, that is 1280 cal. But, sadly, I either consume more than that, or just a little less than that, 100 cal less. -,- I can't stop eating. Food are so good. :( I guess that's why I just need to push myself a little bit more on burning the extra calories to maintain my current weight and lose a little bit. 

But I spose it's okay. It's not that I don't like how I am right now, I just feel like I can lose more. So much more. I'm targeting to weigh 50 kg after Ramadan. And gain one or two kilos back in Raya. -,- HAHA! I gots to face the truth! So, yeah. If I can't lose more than that, I'll just have accept the fat I have. *sigh*