Where else to turn to if not here?

Right now all I want is to eat! Haih. I hate the fact that I worry so much about my weight, but I can't help myself. Every time I see myself in the mirror I feel like taking a knife and poking it everywhere. I know, some may say I'm just overreacting, but I just can't help myself. I try so hard to lose weight, and gaining them back makes me feel so pathetic. But I can't stop myself from eating too. Oh god, why is it so hard? :( 

But of course I don't starve myself to lose weight. That's plain stupid. I'm trying my very best to lose weight in a healthy way, but it's not easyyyy~ Haih. 

I'm so stressed. Not just about the weight, but everything. I'm such an ungrateful miserable bitch.