"I'm pissed because you can say you love Cheetos, and yet you can't say you love me."
"You wanna know why?
Because Cheetos wouldn't mind me eating it or not.
Because Cheetos wouldn't mind if I suddenly wanna change my diet and leave him for something better, like Salad.
Because Cheetos will always be there if I need him, regardless of how many times I'd let him down.
Because I don't have to think and make a decision.
Because I won't regret the decisions I made for us.
Because Cheetos will always be Cheetos.
A non-living thing."
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